Mother's Day!

You could say it's great to celebrate Mother's Day twice a year and it is. 

Like everyone out there I can't thank my mum enough for all she has done for me. 

I mean my mum would have to come in to one of my schools at least 2 or 3 times a week because of my behaviour but would sit at the kitchen table with me crying that I couldn't do my homework because it was to hard hour after hour and not give up until it was done. 

She would pick me up at the train station after I had a college trip to London or pick me up when I had a bit to much to drink even though she had done a full days work. 

She would make sure that I was ok even though I was in a mood with her the day before and had screamed at her that I hated her.  

She put up with me always going out, or getting in trouble at school. 

She did her best and I never really understood how much she did for me when I was growing up. 

When I was 18 we started getting closer and I started letting go of the negative feelings I had towards her. I realized she was only trying to help. She wasn't giving up on me even though it seemed most people had. 

She knew that if I wanted to go out that trying to stop me wasn't the answer. If I wanted to go out with my friends and wanted a lift to the town they lived and she worked in I would get one at 6am but have to work for a few hours before I went to meet them. 

If I had gotten the bus or train to see my friends she would occasionally pick me up but I would have to take the bus or train home. 

She would give my friends lifts home if I asked. She let them stay over with out a second thought. 

My mum truly is someone to look up to. Someone who would help others when they really needed it. And I am truly happy and grateful that I have a mum like her and I wouldn't trade her in for anything. 

The thing is I would trade everything to have her back. Because while I am lucky enough to celebrate 2 Mother's Day and to remember how great my mum is I have to deal with the fact my Mother's Day I don't get to give my mum a cheesy card, or to give her a pressant. I don't get to cook her breakfast in bed, or give her a massive hug or the biggest bunch of flowers. 

I don't get the chance to hear her voice everyday. And I don't get to tell her how much I love her. Or how sorry I am go all that I did. 

Because my Mother's Day every year now is spent placing flowers on a grave.

I miss my mum everyday. And while I'm lucky enough to celebrate Mother's Day twice a year. I am even luckier to have a mum that wasn't only a great mum. But a great person in general. Someone who cared about other, and others cared about her. 

Happy (Canadian) Mother's Day mum. 

Lauren

Xoxo